by
marcia on May 22, 2010 at 6:11 PM
Arguments can be traps for us to fall into if we’re not careful. Many times people let their egos get in the way during an argument. Marshall Goldsmith warns against 4 argument traps:
- “Let me keep talking.” Everyone has opinions and enjoys expressing them. In fact, we feel it’s our right to do so. Sometimes, however, we just can’t stop; we have to have the last word. It can be very hard to just let it go.
- “I had it rougher than you.” When we revel in how poor we were and how much we had to overcome to achieve our current station in life, all we’re trying to do is elicit other people’s admiration. What’s the point?
- “Why did you do that?” We’ll never know people’s true motivations. We can speculate with generosity or paranoia, but we never may get a completely frank answer. Why waste hours trying to get to the bottom of why people do things? It can zap your energy.
- “It’s not fair.” You disagree with a decision that’s been made. Worse, you believe you haven’t been given a legitimate explanation. Arguing won’t change the outcome and makes you look childish. Deal with it.
These four “losing” arguments have the same end result: no change in outcome. Look for ways to make your point, and then move on.
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