Do you ever send an email, leave a voice mail, text someone or even have a face to face conversation and you feel like there is no one listening?  We live in a world of constant distraction and it is hard to stand out from the crowd.

How do you know if your message is being heard? Rhonda L. Sher suggests a few ways to keep you messages to a minimum and still get the attention of the person you want to reach:

 
• Emails: Keep them short and sweet – when sending an email message, make sure the subject line is direct, to the point and attention getting enough for your email to be read. Then keep your message brief, interesting and NOT a sales pitch. Put yourself in the position of the reader of the message and ask yourself if you would find it interesting enough to read. Guy Kawasaki, in his book Enchantment, suggests that we keep our emails to no more than 6 sentences. I have also heard of people who try to keep it so the whole email can be read in the window of a blackberry without having to scroll. Good advice.

• Voicemails: Keep your voicemail to no more than 15 to 30 seconds and speak clearly. Make your message compelling enough so that your call will be returned. Keep your voice upbeat, be specific and make sure to leave your phone number so your call can be returned.

• Text messages: Short and sweet is the secret. Use them with those that you know are texters and be sure to get to the point fast. Watch out for typos and put yourself in the position of the person receiving the text – would your text be welcomed or deleted?

• Live conversation: Watch for body language, wandering eyes and fidgeting. Keep your conversations lively, interactive and make them dialogues, not monologues. If you feel you are not being heard, you probably aren’t. Be aware of personal space and watch your topics. Remember that you rarely get a second chance to make a good first impression so make your conversation count.

In the world of social media, smart phones, emails and more, it is hard to really get someone’s attention. If you have something to say that you want heard, remember that less is more and creativity counts. Next time you leave someone a voice mail message or even create your outgoing message, keep it short and sweet. Treat other’s people’s time like the valuable resource it is and you will be heard.

When my friend and colleague, Susan Nielsen, handed me a copy of her new book that she’d recently finished writing with two other friends and colleagues, Tracy Lunquist and Chip Scholz, I was eager to start reading it.  I didn’t realize, though, how much I’d truly enjoy it and how much benefit I’d get from it.  Do Eagles Just Wing It? is a book that is very easy to read, contains interesting stories, and encourages you to take action and write down what you want your life to be. It provides a great personal development plan for anyone wanting to “soar” and get away from the status quo.

I recommend this book for anyone that doesn’t have a plan for his/her life and wants to improve the results.  It can be found at Amazon.com.

There are so many business professionals who freeze up when they have to merely speak up in a meeting, much less present to an entire room full of people.

I found these tips from Frank Davis, written in an article in Smart Business, and posted in a newsletter by my colleague, Jerry Houston:

If you want to succeed in business you must link up with other people.  You must speak to them in a way that establishes a bond - in daily meetings, discussion groups, and convention speeches, says Lee Glickstein of Woodacre, CA, founder of Speaking Circles International and author of Be Heard Now!  Tap Into Your Inner Speaker and Communicate With Ease.

"It's critical," Glickstein says.  "There are moments of truth in your day, interface moments when trust is established."

Many people don't move ahead because they are awkward and uncertain about speaking in public.  Some do succeed because of other strengths, but still find it torture to get up before an audience, says Janet Esposito of Roxbury, CT, President of In the Spotlight, a company devoted to helping people overcome their fear of public speaking.  Many prominent people experience heart palpitations, sweaty palms, a shaky voice, even weird out-of-body experiences.  It happens to attorneys, sales managers, physicians, and presidents of companies.

"Your mind is racing with anxious thoughts about what could go wrong," Esposito says.

Fortunately, there are strategies to deal with anxiety and ineffectiveness as a public speaker, experts say.  Some strategies involve harnessing your emotions.  Others focus on practical methods for connecting with your audience.  All will make you more confident and more effective in your job and help you become the kind of speaker audiences want to hear.

Strategies for Better Speaking

1.  It's not a big deal
You may feel you're going through hell as you try to stammer out what you've got to say, but the fact is, nothing huge is happening.  One shaky performance won't ruin your life.  So relax.  Stop worrying.  Esposito, author of In the Spotlight:  Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking and Performing, says it's good to tell yourself, "I know I'm anxious, but I'm just going to do the best I can."  That takes the pressure off.

2.  Focus on others, not on yourself
Don't get all caught up in yourself and your sense of ego.  Don't think about competing with other speakers or controlling your listeners.  It really isn't about you, remember.  You are speaking to help the people in your audience.  Think about their needs, their problems.  "Let trust be established," Glickstein says.  "Back off and be with the person."

3.  Think, vocal, visual, verbal
Your checklist for practice speaking should focus on how you sound, how you look, and the words you are using, Brady says.  Are you pausing at the right moments, using gestures appropriately, avoiding words that are difficult to say and tough to understand?

"One of the best tricks of the trade is not using a lot of jargon," Brady says.  "You lose them if you do.  Keep your language nice and simple."  A terrific technique, he says, is to practice your speech, and everywhere you find yourself saying "um," "oh," or "you know," think of that point as a comma or a period and just pause for a moment.  "That takes many speakers from being unpolished to being polished."

4.  Using good eye contact
Don't talk down at your notes or the lectern, Brady says.  Instead, smile (an easy, comfortable smile, not a goofy grin) and make eye contact with the people in your audience.  You can't speak at people, Glickstein says.  That's where speakers go wrong.  They assume the listening is there instead of establishing it.

How do you do this?  Not by flicking your eyes from one person to another in the audience, Glickstein says, or by sweeping the audience with your gaze.  That's distracting.  Instead, do business with just one person at a time, not the whole group at once.  The whole group will respond well if you treat them as individuals.  "You've got to establish a channel with them," Glickstein says.  "You need to establish a listening relationship."

5.  Breathe
When you are upset about speaking, breathing becomes erratic and shallow.  Sometimes you even hold your breath.  This makes your voice shaky and increases your panic.  To deal with this, practice deep breathing.  "This will slow the body down, slow the mind down," says Esposito.  "The body no longer feels it's in danger."

6.  Don't apologize
If you flub something, just keep moving with your speech.  Don't call attention to the glitch.  Brady once worked with an executive who, whenever he stumbled in a discussion, would apologize profusely that he'd lost his place or said something he hadn't intended.  This just broke the audience's attention even more.  You are far more sensitive to your flubs than the audience is.  If you keep rolling, they hardly even notice.  "Go with the flow," Brady suggests.  "Don't worry about being technically perfect."

7. Tell a story
Typically in your speech you'll be delivering a lot of facts.  Abstract facts are hard to absorb.  Tell a personal story to illustrate your main point and to humanize yourself.  The story can be about sports, a hobby you have, about anything for which you have a passion.  Even better, tell a story about an experience you and your audience members shared.  "Look into yourself and your experience and show why your topic is important for you and why it is important for the audience," Brady says.  This dramatizes your message and makes it understandable and compelling.

8.  Keep it short
If you drag on too long, you will bore your listeners no matter how much they were pulling for you when you got up to speak.  So don't yammer on and on.  Keep an eye out to make sure your audience is still with you.  When it no longer is, go to your wrap up -- fast.  Make no more than three points in your speech, and make sure that you emphasize one overriding principle.  Then sit down.  Your listeners will realize you have been considerate, and applaud you for it.  "They will remember you for not wasting their time," Brady says.

Finally, look for the best in your listeners, Glickstein says.  Give them the benefit of the doubt, even if they appear to be inattentive, ill-informed in their questions, or argumentative.  Speak to the positive, and you will be an enthralling speaker.

"The good leader looks for the positive -- the great leader sees it, no matter what," Glickstein says.  "The great leader knows everybody is on board at some level."

In the past, coaching was reserved for a select few in an organization.  Today coaching is used across the leadership ranks.

Many organizations have seen first-hand the value executive and leadership coaching can provide.  Qualified, effective coaches can:

• Be a confidential, unbiased sounding board and provide an objective perspective
• Ask empowering questions - the questions that help you find the answers
• Provide real-time feedback and guidance
• Help sharpen skills and overcome roadblocks
• Help leverage strengths, close gaps and provide accountability for goals and development plans
• Develop leaders in the context of their current jobs without removing them from their day-to-day responsibilities

Having an effective coach is part of a great plan.  In order for the plan to be executed properly, the person being coached must be committed – committed to making necessary changes.

Business networking can be a very powerful tool for marketing your business and can lead to increased sales.  It’s also a very effective tool for job seekers.  Many business professionals rely on networking events for new leads yet many lack a savvy about business networking techniques.

Networking is a way of building professional relationships and generating new business opportunities.  It is a reciprocal process based on the exchange of ideas, contacts, and referrals.   Attending a networking event can be a great way to grow your small business or to even find someone that may be hiring.   It is important to remember proper business etiquette in approaching and developing new professional relationships.  Here’s a list of how to avoid the blunders some networkers make:

1. Don’t only talk about yourself.  Instead think “How can I help you?”  Be a giver of qualified referrals and help your fellow networkers make connections.
2. Don’t try to schedule a meeting immediately.  This isn’t an opportunity for you to fill up your calendar.  It’s more advantageous to get to know people first.  If a connection is made, ask for permission to call or email within a specific time frame.
3. Don’t monopolize their time.  Be considerate and only spend 2-5 minutes with each person and move on. 
4. Don’t try to eat, drink and talk at the same time.  The food and drink may be tempting, but chewing and talking don’t work well together.  It’s also difficult to greet people when both hands are full.
5. Don’t give out your business card to everyone.  Wait until you’re asked.  When you’re handed a card, take it and look at it respectfully, rather than just stuffing it away immediately.
6. Don’t interrupt conversations.  When two people are facing each other and engaged in a discussion, don’t disturb them.  Instead, look for someone standing alone or in a group that appears to be open.
7. Don’t look around when talking to someone.  When we maintain eye contact, it let’s the other person know that we’re truly interested in them.
8. Don’t tell inappropriate jokes or use offensive language.  Showing a sense of humor is admirable; offending someone is unforgivable.   Remember your image is everything.  Set a good example and you’ll attract like-minded people AND increase your chances of achieving success.

Harvey Mackay, CEO of Mackay Envelope, is the pinnacle of understanding what it takes to be successful.  And like most successful people, he learned from other great leaders in the world, like Sam Walton of Wal-Mart.  Enjoy these words of wisdom from the largest employer in the world, taken from one of Harvey's columns.

Sam Walton, the legendary founder of Wal-Mart, had 10 rules for running a successful business.  They are simple and straightforward, but guess what?  I would bet the farm that a great many businesses don't follow them -- and they'd be better off if they did.

Read these and see how they might fit into your business plan.  Take note that even throughout this tough economy, Wal-Mart has prospered.

1.  Commit to your business.  Believe in it more than anyone else.  Passion is at the top of the list of the skills you need to excel.  When you have passion, you speak with conviction, act with authority and present with zeal.  If you don't have an intense, burning desire for what you are doing, there's no way you'll be able to work the long, hard hours it takes to become successful.

2.  Share profits with your employees.  If you treat them as partners, they will treat you as a partner, and together you will perform beyond your wildest dreams.  Employees are the life-blood of any good company.  Many companies seem to have fancy incentive programs for the big wheels, but smart companies have bonuses and profit-sharing all the way down the line.  It was recently announced that this year, each Wal-Mart employee will receive a "bonus" check for more than $900!

3.  Motivate your partners.  Money and ownership are not enough.  Set high goals, encourage competition and then keep score.  Competition makes you better and stronger.  You should not only welcome stiff competition, you should actively seek it.  You'll never realize your full potential unless you're challenged.  Similarly, if you don't set goals to determine where you're going, how will you know when you get there?  You must stay focused on your goals above all else.  Truly dedicated individuals won't let anything interfere with attaining their goals.

4.  Communicate everything you possibly can to your employees.  The more they know, the more they will understand.  Information is power, but it must be used to empower your workforce.  You will be amazed how a few snippets of information can transform a business into a powerhouse.

5.  Appreciate everything your associates do for the business.  In addition to point #2, find ways to let your employees know that you value their contributions.  Invite your customers to share their stories of great service and post them for all to see.  Catch people doing a good job and let them know you notice.  It keeps everyone motivated and does wonders for retention.  Remember that your successes result from a group effort.

6.  Celebrate your successes.  Find some humor in your failures.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Maintain a positive tone, even when things don't go as planned.  Although a failure may not be funny at the time, there's always a lesson to be learned.  Often, the lesson learned is humility.

7.  Listen to everyone in your company, and figure out ways to get them talking.  Many people think that communication means getting others to do what you want them to do.  For them, good listening means, "I talk, you listen."  These people have forgotten the basic truth about being a good listener:  Listening is a two-way process.  Yes, you need to be heard.  You also need to hear the other person's ideas, questions and objections.  If you talk at people instead of with them, they're not buying in -- they're caving in.

8.  Exceed your customers' expectations.  There's one thing no business has enough of: customers.  Take care of the customers you have and they'll take care of you by coming back -- and bringing their friends.  On the flip side, disappoint customers, and they'll disappoint you -- and then disappear.

9.  Control your expenses better than your competition.  Wal-Mart tries to help its customers follow this rule.  If you aren't already watching pennies, start now.

10.  Swim upstream.  If everyone else is doing it one way, there is a good chance you can find your niche by going in the opposite direction.  Following the crowd leaves you with very little room to maneuver.

I liked this article in "The National Networker" that was written by a fellow BNI Area Director, Sue Henry.  You may need to change the way you're networking!

The way business is done has changed over the past two years. These changes have influenced how and where we network! We need to approach people differently – not just in a physical sense, but also in our attitude and intentions. People can sense whether you are truly interested in them or if they are just a “target” in your line of vision.

If you are networking the same way you did two years, you might be missing out on huge opportunities!

Do you still…

1. Attend networking events (like the chamber, BNI socials, etc.), randomly meet people in the room, exchange cards and feel like you’ve networked…
2. Talk to people about how great your company and products are…
3. Talk a lot and try to persuade those you meet to set up an appt…
4. Go to events determined to get appointments…
5. Compete by price or cost and that’s what you talk about…
6. Meet someone and ask them for a referral or ask them to pass your card to others…
7. Talk more than you listen...
8. Feel that networking doesn’t work because you aren’t getting new business from your networking activities…

If any of the above strategies reflect how you are currently networking, try substituting one of these at the next networking event you attend:

1. Before attending a networking event (like the chamber, BNI socials, etc.), identify 3 people you’d like to help find referrals for and take some of their cards. Look for opportunities to pass referrals for others. Give first. It will come back to you.
2. Take the strategy above and focus on 3 of your clients or customers who have businesses. See if you can find referrals for them. This will increase their loyalty for your business and also show them how they can effectively bring business back to you.
3. Identify who you want to meet and why. What problems do they have and how can you help them? What’s in it for them if they meet with you? Once you have specific answers, find out who you know that knows this person. As him/her to provide a personal introduction and open the door for a brief meeting.
4. Substitute the standard question “What do you do?” with things like, “why did you go into the ____________ business?” “What’s your favorite thing about being a ________?” “How has the economy (or whatever a hot topic is) affected your business?” Listen attentively. Make them feel like they are the only person in the room at that time!
5. Focus on 2 or 3 “hot” potential clients at a time. Find out what their interests and hobbies are. Add those topics into “Google alert” so that each time something on that subject is indexed by Google, you’ll receive a notification. If it’s good information, copy and paste into a document that looks nice (make sure you leave the credits, author, and web link in place) and send to the person with a little note, “I came across this and thought you might be interested. Have a great day!” Even if they don’t read the article, they’ll be impressed that you remembered and took the time to send it!

Do you see the difference? Whether you are networking at live events or through social media platforms, the foundation of effective networking is building relationships that are genuine and sincere. When you focus on “how can I help?” your contacts sense the difference and respond differently. Focus on making their businesses and lives better. You’ll attract the people who want, need, and are willing to buy what you offer.

The way business is done has changed and we need to reflect those changes in how we find new clients and customers. By choosing only one new idea to adapt at a time, you’ll give yourself the time and experience to make the change a habit. Then move on to the next one. And so on.

If you are networking the same way you did two years, you ARE missing out on huge opportunities! Embrace the new networking style and let “you” and your desire to help others shine. As you do, your business will grow in ways that are sustainable, profitable and fun!

Sue Henry is owner of Sue Henry Talks, a speaking and training company. She has been teaching people effective business strategies that increase visibility, credibility, and profitability. Her most popular topics are networking, social media marketing in 15 minutes a day, and tools to overcome those negative thoughts that keep you from achieving the success you dream of and deserve. She's an Area Director with BNI MN/NoWI directly responsible for 800 members and a team of 15 ambassadors/directors. www.suehenrytalks.com

I subscribe to the weekly ezine, "Sales Gravy."  Jeb Blount, the author, often has very interesting articles on increasing sales.  I really liked this one:

In his classic book, Ultimate Success, Frank Beaudine writes that The Law of Reciprocity is one of the great truths of life because the more we give, the more we receive. Robert B. Cialdini, author of The Psychology of Persuasion, goes a step further saying, "One of the most potent of the weapons of influence around us is the [law] for reciprocation. The [law] says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us."

• Really looked forward to your calls or visits?
• Told your competitors that they would never leave you?
• Were more forgiving of inevitable shortfalls and service issues? 

Here's some great tips from Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of Business Networking International (BNI) on being a better networker in the social media arena: 

From a business perspective, social media is ideal to build your brand and your credibility; it’s about providing value for your connections and followers.  It is important to offer them useful information balanced with a dash of personal insight. Whether you’re talking about face-to-face networking or online networking, credibility and relationship building are critical to the process.

With social media, the key to success is outlining a strategy. You should consider the amount of time you can realistically dedicate each day to online marketing efforts so as to be consistent.  People have a tendency to get online at random times and start clicking away.  Then something mysterious happens to the space-time continuum. Suddenly, two hours go by and you have nothing to show for it!

Avoid falling victim to that trap: Write up a plan for how often and how long you will work your social media.

Map out a weekly schedule that outlines specific days and times you’ll spend developing your social media strategy.  Figure out what’s realistic and what makes sense for your company.  For example, you might schedule yourself to post daily updates at 9a.m., 1p.m, and 5p.m., and then dedicate ten minutes to responding to comments and direct messages at 10 a.m. and 3p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you might dedicate ten minutes at 10a.m. and 3p.m. to retweeting people’s comments which you find valuable. You can also use this time to thank people for mentioning you or retweeting your posts.

Leverage Your Time

As you design your plan, make sure you integrate tools to leverage your time in your social media efforts.  Sites like http://ping.fm, www.seesmic.com, and www.tweetdeck.com are designed to send your social media updates to multiple social networking sites, including Twitter and Facebook, with one click.

Some sites even allow you to link multiple Facebook and Twitter accounts (if you have more than one) to one desktop application where you can post updates to all sites as well as view and respond to your friends’ posts on those sites and keep a log of all your past posts.  This means no more logging into multiple social networking sites . . .  you can manage all your social networking accounts from one place!

Also, there are sites such as www.cotweet.com where you can schedule updates in advance so your updates will post even while you’re not online.  With all the traveling I do, this is a tool that is very useful.

ROI of Social Media Networking

Once you have your strategy in place, you will no doubt be anxious to start seeing a return on your online networking investment, but it’s very important to remember one thing:  Networking, whether online or face-to-face, is more about farming than it is about hunting.  It’s about cultivating relationships with people.  The bottom line is – it takes time.  It is about building the credibility of your brand, and we know that doesn’t happen overnight.

Return on Investment (ROI) is directly correlated to either – 1. Dollars spent (online paid marketing), or 2. Time and/or effort spent – in saturating and building strong profiles on whatever social media channels are deemed effective for the brand (including blogging).  Don’t forget that some businesses will benefit much more from spending more effort on “niche” networks that may have less traffic, but are more targeted to the brand’s ultimate consumer.

If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep it will not be successful.   It is important to create a network that is both wide and deep.  You do this by being visible and engaging in the conversation.  Over time, this gives you credibility which leads to building your brand and your sales. This, ultimately, will give you the biggest ROI for your online marketing efforts.

Top 5 Common Mistakes of Social Media Networking

Most of what I’ve discussed so far has focused on what you should do in order to carry out an effective and profitable social media campaign for your business. But there are also some things you should be sure to avoid.

Below are the top five social media networking mistakes:

1. Spending too much time on sites you enjoy and not fully evaluating whether or not that particular site is the most effective one for your efforts.
2. Going onto a site for “work” and then running down rabbit holes getting distracted by friends who may have posted something interesting or something that requires a response.
3. Not being able to properly define when it is more cost-effective to delegate certain social media responsibilities to someone else to handle.
4. Setting up a blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter page and then not keeping it populated –consistency and fresh content are key.
5. Forgetting that social media is about engaging in the conversation and not just about selling.

Great article on Change by Marshall Goldsmith