I subscribe to the weekly ezine, "Sales Gravy." Jeb Blount, the author, often has very interesting articles on increasing sales. I really liked this one:
In his classic book, Ultimate Success, Frank Beaudine writes that The Law of Reciprocity is one of the great truths of life because the more we give, the more we receive. Robert B. Cialdini, author of The Psychology of Persuasion, goes a step further saying, "One of the most potent of the weapons of influence around us is the [law] for reciprocation. The [law] says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us."
In layman's terms, The Law of Reciprocity simply explains that when someone gives you something, you feel an obligation to give value back.
Understand that even though The Law of Reciprocity says that when you give to others they will feel an obligation to give back. It does not say they will give back. Some people may never return your goodwill. This is why the deliberate pursuit of reciprocity (in other words approaching reciprocity as a transaction - I give value to you, so therefore you give equal or greater value back) does not work. Doing so will leave you jaded and frustrated because these expectations are, in many ways, just premeditated resentments.
What does work is creating positive emotional experiences for others because you sincerely want to give them joy with no expectation for anything in return. This requires faith, that when you give with sincerity and for the right reasons, you will eventually get paid back. The Universe has an amazing way of evening things out and paying you back many times over - sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly.
Unfortunately far too many people choose to ignore this universal truth and instead live by the motto - ME FIRST. I'm sure you know who these takers are in your life. They argue that they've "tried to give help to others, but it doesn't work because everyone is just out to take advantage of them." They have no faith in The Law of Reciprocity. In sales and business, the 'me first' attitude has significant and negative impact on relationships and long term earning potential.
Many salespeople view their prospects, customers, employers and peers as pay checks - they see their business relationships as a means to an end. Instead of becoming genuinely interested in solving their customers' problems, delivering value or helping others, they are genuinely interested in getting the sale, getting the pay check, or getting something else they want. Of course we all have examples of people who have been rewarded, at least temporarily, for their take first attitude. In spite of this, the one thing I can tell you with certainty is "what goes around, comes around." For everyone and everything, eventually the Universe will balance the scales.
Anchoring - The Real Power of Creating Positive Emotional Experiences
In sales and business The Law of Reciprocity is your ally because you can use it to anchor your relationships. At sea, an anchor creates a bond between the ocean floor and a vessel. A big metal hook on the ocean floor is attached to the ship by a chain. That bond holds the vessel stationary and safe.
It is important to note that anchors cannot be dropped to the ocean floor and forgotten about. Captains on vessels, large and small, relentlessly monitor their anchors to ensure they are holding fast and not dragging. Constant changes in wind, currents, tide and the sea floor all conspire to "unhook" the anchor and leave the ship adrift - a disaster waiting to happen.
Relationships must be anchored, too. In relationships an anchor creates an emotional bond between you and another person that aids in holding the relationship together and safe. Likewise, the emotional anchors that hold your relationships firm require the same vigilance. Relationships that are ignored go adrift.
Sadly, many, salespeople think after they get the sale the customer will keep buying because they like the product or service. They've fooled themselves into believing that their product, service, process or price is unique and their customer will keep buying for that reason. For most customers the nuances you see are just not there. Too them all things are equal. Few salespeople have not heard the words (in one form or another), "All you guys are the same." The brutal fact is, as soon as you forget to appreciate your client, someone else will. In the
People Buy You world if you lose that connection, you are toast. The reality is when you close a deal there are ten more salespeople standing behind you selling the same or similar products or services.
Never, ever forget: your customer bought YOU. Products can be duplicated but YOU cannot. If you don't keep your customers thinking about YOU, sooner or later some other person will come along and win them over.
There is a saying, always leave them wanting more. This saying is applied most often to performers who work on the stage - actors, speakers, musicians and comedians. This line is just as apropos to business professionals. It is essential that you never forget that as a business professional you are always on stage. If you want to close more deals, maintain long-term relationships, retain your clients, and keep your career upwardly mobile you must strive in every interaction to leave others wanting more of YOU!
Most buyers would rather spend an hour in the dentist's chair getting a root canal than an hour with a salesperson.
But, what if your customers and prospects . . .
- Really looked forward to your calls or visits?
- Told your competitors that they would never leave you?
- Were more forgiving of inevitable shortfalls and service issues?
Calls and meetings would be very different if people were eager to meet with you. Just think how this would neutralize the efforts of your competitors to steal your clients. All of this is possible and more when you tap into the power of The Law of Reciprocity and Create Positive Emotional Experiences.